on Copyrights

I wanted to do a magazine but no publishers would take it. Meh.

Things I Learned on Twitter Today

- Megan Fox is (probably) a man. I'm still having a hard time coping with this but it's all over twitter yesterday.

- Metro TV has a picture of dead Michael Jackson and think that he "appears dead". I was so annoyed with this last one I wrote another long rant on the station. Indonesians are not stupid. (Really??)

- I probably have dengue fever again (this i learned not from twitter but from a visit to the hospital yesterday).

Quickie Thursday

I noticed that my posts are getting longer and longer and I no longer write about boobs. It’s probably less interesting to some these days. I need to get back to writing the usual ADD adjusted portion of Treespotting it seems.

I wrote a longish piece on Indonesian election - problems with the Executive powers, my experience in prison and a flashback to the 80s when MJ was black and cool – all in one piece.
I thought it was an excellent exercise in hyperwondering minds.
Nobody likes it.

Also gave away free tips on using Blackberry for private conversation.


I used to write only about boobs and lesbian ninjas, but nothing recent. I also once done tips for Blogging Effectively. I hope you clicked. For the newbies, here's a Treespotting FAQ to get you oriented.

Some people thought I was mad from reading my stuff alone.

I met plenty stark raving mad people who never to stop to take notes, you should be happy.

I’ll write about boobs later but we can keep the troops happy and share the love. I’m down with an ugly fever and this is a scheduled broadcast. You can go back to work now.

Notes on Election Date (Part II)

The story so far: this morning, me and two friends and a large dog set out to test drive a custom souped Wrangler Rubicon on the Election Day in Jakarta. 150 million plus Indonesian voted today in some 400,000 polling stations across the country. We went to visit 11 within the greater Jakarta and tried to get my dog registered to vote. Also Michael Jackson was buried yesterday.

I wonder how much a database with names and details of voters is worth to direct marketers. The files are on sale already. I don’t like multilevel marketers much. They’re stinky. Is anyone looking into this?

This Jeep is taller and higher from other SUVs I’ve tried. The dog doesn’t like it much trying to get in – he’s usually very eager to jump into cars.

Soetiyoso – the previous Governor of Jakarta – wore shades into the voting both.

The Governor and family voted in Menteng, in a park sandwiched between Vice Presidential estate and the residence of the US Ambassador. There were more security people and journos than voters.

My attempt at getting Verbal registered was firmly rebuffed by people with guns. We need to find a less conspicuous voting station.

Pundits are still talking about polls and exit polls. I’ve had it and wrote a special piece for people at Metro TV and TV One. There’s also a book called Interface – the President of the USA had a brain transplant and had poll results plugged in directly into his brain - by Neal Stephenson. Read it.

Security around Menteng was tight, we were checked three times getting into three different places. Our very own portable bomb sniffer in the back was decidedly excited by his these exercises but generally well behaved. Wait til he gets out of the moving car.

Verbal wanted to run and scared off exactly one voter. She’s 107 with faulty sights and thought she saw demons. We left Menteng for less conspicuous neighborhood.

The car eats potholes and speed bump with crushing efficiency so it works fine in wild. In the maggoty rat alleys of Jakarta however, it’s a bitch to maneuver. It doesn’t run fast either and the massive tires are noisy on highways so I’m indifferent about the driving experience. It’s wonderfully comfortable though.

Finally had a definitive answer for the dog. He’s not old enough, maybe in 2014. Thank vote officers in Kelapa Gading somewhere.

3pm. All polls showed a comfortable lead for SBY. None of the opponents were willing to concede. Why do have to be so bitter about it? Losing gracefully is frequently more important than winning aggressively for viewing voters. Live with it and talk to Dr. Phil if you have to but keep the uglies off the screen.

I had the lab result back on my suspiciously low trombosit level and needed to stop for medication. We went to Chirpy’s and the dog was let loose in the spacious garden. He couldn’t stop moonwalking on the lawn and created a right mess by jumping into the pool.

Chirpy’s girlfriend turned up and told us she voted for Megawati-Prabowo ticket. I fed her left shoe to the dog. The dog was now completely happy.

TV One threw a party at Bidakara and none of us were invited but we went anyway in order to be properly nosy. Nothing interesting but people were chatty and gossipy today. Went to Gran Melia to have coffee, the concierge happily look after the dog and Vi changed (again) in the loo.

Despite all the discouragement, I called the girl from the other night (we’ve to sort out the naming convention around here soon, it’s getting messy). I’m never good with phones and I wasn’t even sure what I said but she was laughing and happy and we have a date. Vi was now furious.

Back on the highway and attempt a speed test with the car. Sis had a Chrysler minivan for a few years and the Rubicon reminds me a lot of that. The gray interior and the lazy push though the car is very obviously more powerful than almost anything else I’ve tried of this size. The old Cherokee is no match for this one.

President SBY held a QnA session with reporters on election. First time I’ve ever heard of such things happening though the reporters were being predictably useless and asked nothing of substance (eg. “What do you think of the election result so far?” Duh! He won by a fucking mile.)

We’re now home and the dog is dogged out. I’m tired and I’ve a high fever and I think the drugs gave me funnies. Congratulations Indonesia.

Night all.

on Rodents and Optimus Prime

You guys know I love robots and I'm like lists.

Here's a giant robot doing a list. Optimus Prime doing  the “Top Ten Things That Sound cool When Spoken By A Giant Robot”- from the Letterman Show.




I almost never do video but this is a pretty cool one. Optimus Prime likes rodents, too (squirrel more specifically).

(thanks @gueamu for the link)

a Series of Notes on Election Date

Rahma Sarita from TV One got into Jusuf Kalla’s dining room and asked if the grandchildren were to vote. Kalla pointed it out that they’re toddlers.

TVOne notched it up further on the scale of tackyness with a patriotic rendition of the song, Final Countdown to start their election coverage.

9am. TV One is officially a JK Wiranto channel.

Maids asked for suggestion on voting. I told them not to dabble to the left. It is not wise for the working class to be educated in socialism and gleam its revolutionary ideas.

I gave them a copy of Das Kapital, the most boring of all books.

Checked my local voting booths and everything looked in order. The dog was overly excited by the adventure in democracy and was not at his best behavior but still hugely popular with the kids there. We’re going to try to get him registered to vote.

Vivian: “Sir, that dog over there is registered to vote here, perhaps you could check if he’s on the list?”
Officer: “Err… and his name is?”
We ran.

The rear seats are large and comfortable – I could have my laptop open and bleed on HSDPA modem. The four cabin screens are set to the terrestrial channels. All murky but we got the audio alright. I asked Chirpy why someone spends $10,000 on an audio video set in a Jeep designed for offroading. Verbal is lodged in the back and looked like he enjoys himself.

10.05am. Exit polls show SBY hovers at 50%. We’re heading for Pondok Indah to spot rich people vote.
The road is deserted. The car is comfortable and well sound proofed and Chirpy is playing with its robust torque. Doors and windows are electronic with manual override. You can take the door off and I was promised that I could try that but later in the day. We feared if the door refused to snap back we’ll be in deep shit.

Heard from the Blackberry – a victory party at the Ritz tonight.

11am. President SBY said he timed his vote so journos and pundits could vote – apparently he voted too early last election and missed the photo ops. The media coached him well.

Breakfast stop in Pondok Indah and costume changes for responsible voters. Vivian wondered if cleavage is permissible. We’re listening to Motley Crue and eating choco pops and all completely sober.Sudjiwo Tedjo called other channels with exit polls (Metro TV is the only one) - "Jahannam"

More to come.

on Michael Jackson, Indonesian Election and Presidential Powers

That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.
~Kubla Khan, Samuel Taylor Coleridge


I was supposed to leave on Monday but a number of things prevented me from going so on Tuesday night, we lodged in a very comfortable living room in Kemang for a relax night of conversations and snacks. We haven’t had our movie nights for a while and with the election break, most Council members are in town so a few of us assembled. The Jedis are creatures of comfort and gossips.

With nothing better to do Mad Cousin invited a few of our regularly eclectic group of friends to his lair in Kemang to watch Michael Jackson funeral and exchange election gossips – a few of us work directly and non directly with all three candidates and on call. It was full moon, too.

The Freaks dragged the piano out to the garden again. Monkeys howled and Vi danced to the Man in the Mirror. It was hilarious but you really have to see it in person. Mad Cousin had a copy of Motown DVD box of something and with it, the video of Michael Jackson performing Billy Jean solo with a live crowd. Nobody else could’ve pulled it off. It was bizarre and yet sensationally cool at the same time like only Michael Jackson could.

A close friend of ours works on the deep end of the JK-Wiranto campaign and I asked if his bosses seriously suspect a systematic election fraud by the ruling regime. I was wearing an old red CCCP t-shirt with bright yellow sickle and hammer emblazoned on my chest. He diplomatically avoided a direct answer but felt compelled to strongly argue for transparency. We’re talking tens of millions here, presumably? He was vague about the numbers.

The thing about this election is nobody seems to know anything so they have to point the finger at the next one. It’s a stupid election.

Vivian suggested that Indonesia has serious trust issues that it needs to resolve. If you think managing 260 million souls is an easy job, try counting 176 million. Nobody will ever get it right but the parties need to stop blaming each other. It makes pathetic campaigns. She suggested they sing Heal the World and wave like the Jackson Family and Brooke Shields on tv. Grumpy and Chubby staged a moonwalk competition and the dog busily learned along.

Mr. Scribe who earlier went to SBY’s private compound in Cikeas reported that the President was praying with his closest advisors. The same at Jusuf Kalla’s residence. The President recently said something about ‘threats of black magic’ on the upcoming election. Praying seemed to be the apt thing.

I asked if anyone got a quote on Michael Jackson but nobody was apparently ‘briefed’ on the subject.

President Obama said Michael Jackson is “A crossover racial figure who created 'comfort level' for African American public figures”. He must’ve choked to hear Al Sharpton earlier. I’m not sure if Obama realized that some people – those across the oceans – often look up to America only for people like Michael Jackson. If not for the pop culture we would've thought you’re a bunch of war mongering gorillas.

Humphrey – an Australian with fluency in Jakarta’s dirtiest slangs – suggested my comment was racist but we pulled the Al Sharpton comment back and argued for half an hour if it was racist in tone and words and whether it was at all comparable to my own statement. I think manicured political correctness is an ill of society trying too hard to put comfort to its pains.He thought i was being pedantic.

I draw the lines at little kids, however so I preferred to keep Michael Jackson out of this conversation but some of our guys were wildly offended. Grumpy – the definitive moonwalker – took it as an insult and we were once again subjected to the video of Michael Jackson doing Billy Jean at Motown. Again, it was an insanely brilliant solo performance – Michael Jackson with nobody else on stage pulled it even better than his massive ensemble in the later days. All glitter with the funny pants and the single glove, a little menacing but very childlike. Anda used to do a great blues rendition of Billy Jean but none of us had seen him recently. We reckoned there should be a Jacko night at the pub. Guitar Freak reminded us from his drunken stupor that Van Halen did the solo on Beat It and played it on the beat up amps.

Our factious groups of ruling mediocrity and street revolutionary continued quarrelling deep into the funeral proceeding and were awed by the open highways of Los Angeles. For Jakarta urbanites, moving traffic is a conceptual aspiration. The Mediocres prefers to keep doing what they’re doing, even if it’s not working. At least Indonesians are not killing each others, he said.

All of our foreign guests nodded in agreement. Having war criminals on your badge really isn’t very marketable internationally. The Fighters want to turn everything upside down and start over. There was a shouting competition. The piano was wet. My favourite Michael Jackson song was Who Is It, Mad Cousin took Billy Jean, Man in the Mirror was popular and Vivian’s was Smooth Criminal.

I think we were all in agreement that the Government really is running a pathetically sad and chaotic election and it is a valid issue. The problem is they’re not being subtle and it got ugly too quickly. The threat of postponing the election put the Constitutional Court in a corner and some compromise was introduced. In being so vehemently stubborn, SBY – the presidential candidate – missed a good opportunity to show his sense of leadership and SBY – The President of the Nation – twisted the nation into the murky water of the Court’s judicial powers. Indonesians can now vote using their ID.

One of the Freaks threatened to report me to the officials for trying my dog registered to vote but I sadly announced that despite his best behavior and obvious pedigree, Verbal will not be voting tomorrow since he is obviously not old enough.

SBY's very own high powered machination runs the campaign so brilliantly well, they forgot that Mr. Yudhoyono is, first and foremost, a sitting President and not a candidate with wannabe powers. That gnomish dude doesn’t look like he could run an election.The President should've been in charge.

The mess in KPU makes consultants very rich but does it really bode well for Demokrat as a party, or his bigger, supposedly majority controlling coalition? Chirpy thinks that the privatization of politics is inevitable for Indonesia. The media make tons of money out of the corporate sponsored presidential debates but nobody bothered to ever ask where do the money go – Election Committee was reportedly low on cash. I wondered if the funeral-memorial service made a profit (update: they might)

Michael Jackson died, that’s what happened. Vivian said from Facebook that Jacko is now officially the most popular person on the plannet, more friends than President Obama. Personally I think the Fighters camp ran two very shabby campaigns. They were willing to get dirty but even the most brutal attacks were fronted with such recklessness the street revolutionaries never gained any momentum at all. They were all set to loose from the beginning with the faulty goods.I admit that Wiranto on the ticket makes it a deal breaker but Golkar should at least make it to a run off election. It is unlikely that they would - we'll know in six hours or so.

The economy isn’t what it is and the President’s machineries run on promises – not records. The job couldn’t have been simpler for the opponents and yet, they successfully fucked ruin it.

This government prosecuted and jailed a mother of two for some allegedly malicious email message just a month ago and it wasn’t even a campaign issue.

Little Chavez said that they feared that direct mingling might be seen as bad form of exercising political influence – in their parlance, ‘executive interference’. I thought those are exactly the very essence of politics. When mothers are at harm and the nation is at risk, leaders showed anonymous masses how to move and where to go. When a vicious conspiracy is at large dismantling the KPK, the integrity of the candidates are being directly questioned and someone ought to make it an issue. Those are a valid and perfectly responsible political issues. Voters are smart and they need to hear these assurances.

Instead, the campaigns danced through jargons and meaningless bickering for months only to blame it on polls and committees and neoliberals. It’s a disgrace.

Vivian rummaged through old wardrobes and found white gloves and we were served chocolate fondue with big fat strawberries. She told the others what happened with Jacko from the other night in Citos. Chirpy wanted to know what really happened back then and how the story got so far. Collectively the Jedi thought it was a bad idea to get involved and i had that glowing feeling of prosecution for a brief moment.We're all troubles, some of us wrote the rules and some of us got caught. It was hard being Michael Jackson but the guy was being a complete prick the other night. The Council wants me to look the other way. They were all genuine in intention but the conspiratorial suggestions were too intimidating to be a sincere effort. Vivian was just jealous.Maybe Michael Jackson just never grew up. He wanted to be 13 forever. Some of us would want to live forever. Most of us just wouldn't want to remember the ugly parts.I don't make sense much but my attorney advised me to be prudent in disclosure pertaining to this particular incident.I'm also getting tired. Where Michael Jackson goes, this is probably the best one i found. Of course he was strange, he was only human.

The late night polls said that SBY should beat a minimum 55% and the country will be in a new episode by noon. The world’s largest moslem country is holding a historical election with a thunderous question mark in the air and even the campaigners didn’t seem to care that much anymore.We watched the big bright full moon and howled. The girls danced again, this time with gloves on. The piano was now wet.

Michael Jackson died, that’s what happened. I asked KaniaSW on Twitter about the relentless Michael Jackson fever on Metro TV and she said they deliver what the audience wants. I was tempted but found this excellent piece from Jim Selman and he said it better. He says the Michael Jackson fever in the media to result in “governance by polling, media by pundits, and a society of spectators that becomes increasingly self-referential and disconnected from "reality”.

I’m need to sleep. Happy Wednesday people!