Open Response to Gary, Riccardo and Other Penguins

Two years ago or so, the Jaksa/Jakchat crowd are the only expat groups blogging and they formed the larger voice of the online expat bloggers community. And therefore suggested that the expat blogger community was disproportionally haunted by people with no manners and bad intellects. It was a little scary then.

Within two years, I got to know so many other great people and these assholes got demoted to where assholes usually belong: down there. Not to be shown in public, unless you’re attached to a Jessica Biel.

Ok, most of you wouldn’t really get what I’m talking about here since the remarks I’m referring to was said in a (not so) private email thread last week involving some 10+ mostly expat bloggers, many of these claimed to be speaking in behalf of the rest of the foreigners community in Indonesia, which I know is far, far away from the truth. It was a casual discussion that turned sour at some point. And then it got worse. Some people are simply not capable of having a civilized debate.

Let me start by having my definition clear here:

Bloggers: anyone who keeps a blog and keep it updated.
Indonesian Bloggers: not at all clear. I’m a self proclaimed smut blogger, but I could’ve been an Indonesian one. Who knows. The definition of the precise definition was what brought us into this mess.
Assholes: the people I will mention by name in this post. You know who you are.

I get riled up with this because I used to think of this as a joke, but it gets less funny every time. When people like you lot - who claimed to be “Indonesian link to the outside world” - dared to use words like segregation, color profiling and race discrimination when you talk about Indonesia in three paragraphs, then you get my attention.

Using big words doesn’t make you look smart. It only makes you articulated idiots.
That sets you apart only from the garden variety idiots.

It’s nonsensical, hypocritical and most of all damaging to campaign for your delusional rants when you’re supposed to represent qualified voices from inside the country. We’ve enough problems as it is with this country with all the other idiots running it and the travel warnings and the plane crashes and all.

It’s damaging because it’s not real. IIt detracts attention from real problems. It feeds only the little serpents breeding in your puny heads.

Guys, - Rich, Gary, Patung, Terry and all your other ilks – you need to grow up. You guys are old and graying and growing up is not something you would do best, but it’s worth a try, really. It’ll make you a happier life.

You’re guests in foreign land, you will always be. That’s just how society is formed within mankind. You could be a guest in a foreign country or you could be a guest in a social function and you could well be a guest in any community. We all are, always. FYI, that is how interaction and communication and social assimilations generally happen.

Interactions allow for exchanges of ideas and eventually exchanges of cultures and social habits. Sometimes for the better, occasionally for the worst but most often, simply for the lowest common denominators. Strangely enough, that’s how society evolves.

When they fail to interact in civilized manners, they invade and slaughter and rape and pillage and war happens. Ask the Mongols.

During these interactions, you will be most noticeable for things you are not. Which makes you a guest by definition. Sometimes, it’s your skin colour, your passport colour, the funny language you speak and occasionally the thickness of your skull. Again, ask the Mongols.

This is normal unless you’re living in Smurf country where everyone is blue and the only blonde in the crowd belongs to all.

Visa and international travels are problems commonly experienced by all six billion of earth population. Ask anyone who got on a plane recently, it’s generally a shitty experience. If anything at all, people with white skin and blonde hair are less likely to be stripped down in the custom. So let’s just shut up about it. The more obnoxious you get, the less incentive Indonesians have of letting your kinds in. I, for one, begin to wonder why we didn’t screen visiting expats based on their intellectual perversions. We really shouldn’t accept society rejects.

Oh, gosh, I could go on attempting to be rational for another ten pages, I know you would just fail to comprehend. I tried before, I know. I hesitated to believe that you’re incapable of rational thinking, but perhaps some of us are simply further evolutionary blessed than others.

Let me just address Gary Dean from Okusi Associates/JakChat fame directly (I’m quoting verbatim from his email to the list). He has questions:

And here we are, demanding our "rights" to be heard in a nation still coming to terms with the 19th century, never mind the 21st.

Anyway, in the spirit of contrariness and contradiction, I would like to remind ourselves of some Uncomfortable Truths:

1. We've organised a number of Blogfests in the past. All these events have been ostensibly open to all. However, I cannot recall even one Indonesian blogger (ie, citizen) showing up. (I stand corrected should I be wrong about this; but as I am usually the only sober person in attendance, I feel my recollection is not mistaken.)

Why is this so?

ANSWER

Since I never attended either, this is just a wild guess, maybe because it never sounded like fun to spend an evening with you drunkard lot in the alleys of Jaksa preying on gender neutral flirties? Boy, you don't even sound like fun!

Frankly speaking, you couldn’t pay me to come. It’s very easy to imagine why other people won’t come. The fact that they didn’t come should tell you something.

Uh, maybe it won’t. Put this way: You come. I don't. We don't. Why? You suck! Get it? Tarzan come, Jane go!


2. The Jakchat site suffers a similar problem. Despite all our efforts, we have not managed to attract and retain Indonesian male users. At best, they last 2 days and then we never see them again.

Why is this so?

ANSWERS:
Because that message board you run (and all the blogs ran and managed by your colleagues) are mere masturbatory scams to run your porno swaps and trick the said gender neutral flirties. Most Indonesians see thru that. Actually, most people see that.

It’s a racist, bigoted, self appreciating forum for the apeminded.

If you think you tried hard, obviously it wasn't good enough. Maybe it’s time to try another profession (hint: professional jogger is in high demand).

The short answer is because it's a shit site ran by shitty people. Just because we're on the net doesn't mean we're dumb: Rule #3 in building internet site: don't be shitty.


Most of us here are Western liberals, adopting often combative debating styles. This freaks out most Asians, regardless of their Westernised veneers. We blow them away before they even realise what's going on. Just as, I imagine, Ong and Treespotter have been blown away by the way we have discussed this matter, irrespective of the merits of our arguments.

Perhaps Indonesians need space to develop into social critics without the intimidating presence of Westerners?

…

Some other thoughts:

I find some of the terminology being used highly problematic, in particular, the words "blogger" and "expat".

I feel the word blogger could much better be replaced with the term "alternative media"; which is to say, alternative news and opinion; non-mainstream media.

The word expat is a quaint hangover from colonial times; better replaced with "foreign resident".

-- end quote

Just for the records, I posted the very first mail suggesting that there should be any status difference given to Indonesian/Non Indonesian bloggers, in fact speaking your concern. I was scared that if any of you were let to speak out loud, you show people how insane you really were and it will scare other people. Me and Ong aren’t on the same side on this. We merely agreed that you are indeed an asshole. And Rich, too.

You’re not intimidating. You’re amazing. You asked for combative debate, here I present myself. I’ll take up this silly word exchange with you anytime. Hell, I could do it to waste time in the traffic. Western liberals value my ass. I'll be proud if you could tell left from right.

As for the suggestions for new words, shut the fuck up already, you’re not Al Gore, you don't get to make new words. I seconded the suggestions, however, that we change the word ‘expats’ to ‘penguins’ at least when we specifically refer to you lot.

You lot the Jaksa crowd are no longer representing the expat community in this country. You don’t deserve it. Keep behaving like you’re the warriors of the Aryan Nations and maybe someone will finally get it someday. You guys can go own comparing your tecnorati ranking and what not, sounds a lot like penis envy to me.

I’m just happy that in the last two years of blogging, I’ve seen so many other expats writing and participating and doing other things. I know too many others who were just too happy enjoying the wild Jakarta nightlife and picking cheap wines and busy spending their husbands money on tennis lessons. They whine of traffic and of maids and of stupid public officials, which is what we all whine about. Welcome home.

Adios, guys. Please do shut the fuck up and resign to obscurity in peace. Cover your asses, it ain’t pretty.

PS: This is a regular feature of Treespotter. You guys have trolls. My trolls have characters and ideologies. You need to deal with them in full.