on a Female Troll

You may find out that your selfdoubt
means nothing was ever there
You can't go forcing something
if it's just not right.
~Green Day

My long time readers and friends know that we occasionally have trolls around here – I keep them like pets - although I discourage the practice for others. Trolls are notoriously annoying and frequently incompetent but often amusing in their own very peculiar ways. Also since trolls are almost always a little loose in the head, they could be a little scary. It’s best to make sure that you do rabies shot on regular basis. I used to have a polar bear troll – now sadly gone, although there have been sightings reported at the odd corners of the internet. It’s a shame really, cause I really, really, really like polar bears.

Anyhow, now I’ve a new troll to deal with. The timing is a little unfortunate since I’ve quite a number of things to juggle around at the moment and I have not as much time to play with little odd wackos. Trolls are always troubled by certain things – relationship issues, childhood trauma, repressed sexual urges, wrong meds – let’s just say that I am not best qualified to deal with these.

I’ve my very own home grown issues to deal with and I’ve not the time or the inclination to deal with your random fuck ups. Trolls should start a blog and leave people alone. They’re only funny on the internet - my ex used to have several real life trolls, we had to put them down after a while and involve the authority.
This time, however, the creature is a ‘she’.

She wrote me a few emails, some sweet, some loony but always incoherent. A little bit of googling and oogling reveals that she is most likely a female, under 30, a virgin, flat chested and more than just slightly stupid. I also found more of her incoherent rants thrown at every direction. Apparently, I’m not the only person she had a thing for - from what I gathered, this particular troll had it with everyone on regular basis. I don't know her in person, and hopefully, never will.

Trolls often follow a certain pattern of madness – I suspect it’s the medication although it could always be any number of things. They’re funny up to a point when they ceased being funny. Then they just became sick.

It pays nothing to try to understand. The whole point about assuming a cyberstalker/vicious troll personality is so that you can be completely mad and hope that nobody would notice, I think. These people are by definition, beyond help. Mine is no exception.

I tried being nice, really. From all my past experiences with trolls - male or female, flat chested or otherwise – being nice never worked with this vicious creatures. They’ll just keep on coming until they hit their head on the wall hard enough. Hopefully, they'll bleed and die, quietly like dogs do.

Very sad, but such is life on the internet.
Like in real life, we’re never short of the sad pathetic little shits.