on my Staff of Comfort

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
~Psalm 23:4


Katadia mentioned something on the post the other day, reminds me I haven’t told the full story on the previous troll.

You see, I’m the first to admit that I can be a major nuisance.

I was told that I could be rather persistent. Others have used the word, pesky. Whatever.
I’m a wordy guy and way back when we could hold arguments running for weeks on mailing lists minuting the script for the Matrix – it’s a geeky quality that occasionally spellbind me completely to other important order of things.

Again, the point here being, recognizing this faults of course, I venture very little outside my treespotting lair. Whatever I have to say, I usually say it here. Sometimes, discussions interests me, or characters I found attractive or issues I care about – or even just plain nosy, I dive in.

Now, I love getting emails from people and I’m usually a lot nicer on email – and this character (I’m pretty sure a she) – sent me an email, commenting on my writing. You see, every once in a while, some kind souls write to me after reading my stuff and it feels kinda nice. And since I write on just about any subject under the sun – from dildos to lesbian ninjas to legos and often rantish civic lessons – my standard return question was, which particular post did you like?

For some reason, people chose to send me emails rather than dropping comment on the post, I’m not sure why but I never really get much comments on these blogs.

Anyhow, in this particular case, the said character, a Probable-She-Troll, wrote back in rather tendentious tone. I’m not sure what it was but I think at the time, it read a little like a suicide note. Something very depressing.

Believe you me, I have enough dramas in my real life and I don’t need imaginary ones no more than I need an imaginary hand job, sending me notes you’re going Jesus just don’t cut it. A very good friend of mine was once married to a big rock star dude. He’s a brilliant artist with a clinical suicidal tendencies but it came from a series of events – suicide threat for some one dumb thing or another. My friend finally had enough playing shrink after a few years and left him. He called with suicide threats several time – and at one point stupid enough to actually take some insecticide or something.  My friend was married to him but at some point, you gotta say enough was enough. He’s alive, I think.

I had no fucking idea who this character was - totally out of the ether - voila, with a suicide note.

As a pickup line, it prolly did get my attention more than others (no more, I set a filter for random suicide notes to bounce back to senders). You do with what you want in your life. If it’s not my business, please don’t make it my business. I’m sorry for your hardships but it’s not like I’m getting anything easy either.

I sent a sort of short response, in kind, suggesting that she’d probably mistook me for someone else. If she had sent the note by mistake – come to think of it, I really don’t understand what that was about.

At that point she gone total bananas and I failed to comprehend anything anymore.

At some point, in a furiously blackberried spasm, mini emails – more like twit (but more sinister) – start peppering my inbox. She gave few details but it sounded like she was very certain that she intimately knew me in real life, quoting my brother at some point. Now, I have only one proper brother and since the Probable-She-Troll has a CV on a google search, I know where she went to school (I know, bit of a spoiler innit?). The point being it’s geographically impossible that they were friends anywhere at school since they were literally, continents apart. She also accused me of many imaginary charges, among others, of conspiring with ‘my friends’.

Now, that is the mindboggling part because I don’t really have ‘friends’.
I am a completely bipolar lunatic hermit and I call people dick a lot, and I don’t conspire with ‘friends’.
I run my Empire ALONE.

Bow before me!

(Ahem!)

With these allegations, I forwarded the email to a few prominent members of the Indonesian blogging scene – aka, the BlogBabes. I’m not naming names for fear of reattracting the said Probable-She-Troll, but the girls always know more about gossips from the underground.

Just to be clear, all of my blog friends are blog friends, we're not friends in real life. in the case with the BlogBabes gang, we're all usually scattered on the wrong ends of the world over the last few years and I only got to know them and be friendly online. The words returned that the Probable-She-Trolled was socially known and sighted in some public appearance somewhere following a certain blogged incident taking place sometime before the ancient ages.

The plot thickens.


Any-ho, I think what happened was she was in a spat with someone and she thought I was that someone and she went hormonal and the trollish seizures took the better of her. Seems like everything is now chill and okay there is absolutely no point in revisiting those dark days.

It really cracked me up tho when I stopped responding to those eviltwits and they just streamed in, the next day, this one was on top of the line. I thought it’s super funny.



Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
~Psalm 23:4


This story is mostly true, I don’t make things up.