on Being Weird

Tonight was weird. By most standards, even mine, tonight was weird. I thought I’ve seen weird.
Got to a point where weird turned pro and turned back weirder. I’m not sure at which point exactly. It didn’t seem to end. Maybe I just didn’t want it to end.

I broke every rules I’ve had. It felt – and still feel – very strange. Of course, it was exciting in the beginning. I felt the rush, like I wanted to play. I probably did a little too. It was kinda fun and I was too scared I had too much fun. I just hadn’t had that much fun for, well, a lifetime.

I think the others kinda new that too. Later in the evening everyone coherent practically asked me the same thing. I wasn’t sure. I don’t think they’d remember the answer so I didn’t answer. Starlets and rockstars. They’ve their own rules, I thought.

Maybe. I don’t know. I still broke every rules in the book and I don’t know why. It’s weird.

The fact that I was wrong for every other things actually pissed me off. I’m never wrong. When I’m wrong, that means I was dumb and this time around, I was dumb on every count. That pisses me off. I’m never wrong. There was far too many people around. I think. Chirpy thought she was hot and I was mad. I just didn’t it’s something I’d do, too. Yet, I did.

Now, I don’t know what to do next.